Rabbit

Rabbit, also borrowed from Amanda. Seriously. I think she actually wears these. I taped the ears up.

Without the ears taped up. Droopy.

Strawberry

Strawberry, borrowed form Amanda.  I've never actually seen it happen, but I think she probably wears this around town.

Fruits

 One side of my fruits hat.

The other side of my fruits hat.

A cowby hat?

A cowby hat. Or a farmer hat. Or a sunhat for an old lady.  It turns out I don't really know what qualities make a cowboy hat.

Witch

I bought a witch's hat that was super discounted since Halloween is over.  It was 49¢.

 With a lamp under my head.

Small

Small. Free from the Arrow Community Center clothing swap.

Stolen Crown

A "crown," furtively borrowed from unaware "royalty."

Devo Candy

Devo Energy Dome (office candy bowl that never has any damn candy in it).

Clara

Clara’s pink trucker hat. Must be from a sweet sixteen or something, and beats Wendy’s Bar Mitzvah hat.  I have never met Clara, but her taste in hats is groovy, I especially like nothing about it.  Free from the clothing swap.

Weird kinda cowboyish/kinda sombreroish straw hat thing. Not really.  Free from last Sunday’s clothing swap.

Steamer

Donated by Aaron, stylish, protective, and good for steaming vegetables.

Shower cap

 All weird and pulled out. The label said “Size Xtra Laged, One Size Fits All.”

Square.

That plastic “Happy New Year” hat again, now with a bow that came on some candy box thing.

Wendy's cardboard hat

Wendy had this in her attic. She said it’s probably from a Sweet Sixteen or Bar Mitzvah. That would make it about 15 years old, give or take. It’s one of those cheapster party hats that’s made out of cardboard or something. Why does Wendy have a 15 year old cardboard hat? Yeah.

Beanie

I found this in the hallway at work

Hood

I am protected form flying debris.

Green Rastafari

I don’t know what the correct way to wear this hat is. It is silly with or without me underneath it.

A coworker suggests that this is the correct way to wear it. I don’t think so.

Maybe like this?

Or this?  This one actually looks the most feasible.

This makes it difficult to see, so I’m ruling it out.

Amanda's hat

Amanda wore this to work.

 I don’t even know what the proper way to wear this hat is.

Maybe like this.
Probably not.

Patriotic

Borrowed from the womanfriend’s father. This hat is not made out of cotton in any way shape or form.

Red

Not a particularly silly hat, but still pretty dumb looking. Also free from the clothing swap.

Hard hat

Donated by Ken.

Free old-lady-hat

Free old-lady-hat from last weekend’s clothing swap.

Trash Can

We have one new hire at my office. An order was placed for supplies. This order included two trash cans, one obviously for the new hire. When I asked what the second one was for I was told that the business has purchased a new hat for me. Saying a trash can is a hat automatically makes it true.

Claire’s hat

Presumably Claire doesn’t think it’s silly, but, well, just look at it.

Garbage

Not a hat, just some stuff I pulled out of the trash, stapled together, and put on my head.  Putting it on your head automatically makes it a hat.

FedEx Pope

Plastic “Happy New Year” hat

 

Found on the sidewalk.

 

Without the paper bit that says “Happy New Year.”  This makes me look like an orthodox Jew.